January 2012 disappeared in the blink of an eye and February is quickly heading the same way. As one over zealous office mate drops into conversation every now and then, we are nearly exactly half way through our PhD.
Over half way. That's closer to the finish line than the starting point. Eek.
Looking back to the beginning I can assure myself that I've achieved quite a lot in the past year and a half. Three studies, a couple of conferences, a painful amount of time on SPSS and the odd moment of actual writing is not to be scoffed at. I can almost see how it's all going to come together. One more study to conduct and then write it all up. Simple as. (If only...)
The optimistic side of me looks at my progress and happily announces that the PhD is definitely half full, maybe even more so. "There's a whole year and a half to go.", it proclaims in a Disney-esque positive tone. "Look at what you've done so far and you've got oodles of time to spare. Relax! Put the kettle on. Have a holiday - you deserve it!". For a split second I honestly believe that happy Disney voice in my head until the internal pessimist steps in to dash all my self-assuring dreams.. "Half full?", it shouts. "You're kidding yourself! Look at all those interviews that still need transcribing and coding before you can analyse your data. You haven't even started planning your next study and on top of all that you've not really written anything up properly. Publications? Forget about it - you definitely don't have time for that nonsense. Your PhD is definitely half empty."
And so deflates my happy, rose-tinted perspective on the current state of my PhD.
Being a second year PhD student is very bitter sweet. The constant enthusiasm and motivation you had right the beginning has been well and truly drained. You can't wait for it all to be over, but you're stressed about how little time is left. It's a no win situation.
I've decided to try and alternate between the two perspectives. Some days I can pat myself on the back and toast (cup of tea style) to the progress I've made to half filling my PhD. The rest of the time I think the half-empty camp has to dominate my thinking, giving me enough of The Fear* to keep me working when all other motivation has failed.
We'll see how this plan goes. I prefer the Disney voice's argument.
Ciao for now.
*The Fear is a well known visitor to many an Undergraduate who may be lacking in motivation for the coursework essay or exam revision. The Fear arrives just at the moment of realisation as to how little time is left and are thus forced, by The Fear, into working at break neck speed to get the job done. The Fear cannot be sustained over great periods of time because it is exhausting. If only The Fear's older brother could be located for PhD students around the world and maybe we'd all be a little more productive.
The Fear sets in closer to the submission deadline: believe you me! You should be encoraged at how much you've got done already: the Disney perspective is justified!
ReplyDeleteNext time you're writing a study up though, ask your supervisor if you can write it for journal submission. My data chapters were relatively easy because they were adapted from papers that my supervisor and I had written up as we went along: for surprisingly little extra effort, writing up and writing papers can be done together, and the earlier in your PhD you can do it, the better!