Becoming Dr Ainsworth

Stealing My Academic Thunder

2012-02-09T13:50:00.000Z

Academics are constantly working against the clock to conduct quality research, draw inciteful conclusions and then spread their findings to the world. This process is an incredibly lengthy one and requires a lot of resources: funding, patience, manpower, data, and the trickiest of all, time. If you're lucky to get all of these things then that's great, if not the question must remain unanswered until somebody can gather all the resources together and get the work done.

Few questions and ideas are novel and if you've thought about it, the chances are that someone, somewhere in the world, has thought of it too. This means that you are up against the clock to reach the publishing finish line before these hypothetical competitors do. The race is on but you have no idea who your fellow competitors are and what checkpoint they have reached when you set off on your research journey and if they beat you too it, your cutting edge research quickly becomes blunt.

I think there is a perfect way to describe the feeling of discovering that someone has published in your area that you are still working hard to complete. Even more so when you have found the same things, they've just got their first. They are 'stealing your thunder'; a phrase typically reserved for situations where you're supposed to be the centre of attention but someone upstages you, like your best friend announcing she's pregnant on your wedding day or someone announcing their engagement at your birthday party, but I feel it fits.

I'm sad to say this happened to me today. My academic thunder was well and truly stolen - not just by a fellow academic - but by the Government.

I've been conducting research on the practice of police officers in England and Wales, focusing on how they prepare victims and witnesses for giving evidence in court. Nothing like this had been done before, or should I say, nothing like this had been published before.

This morning I arrived at my desk to find an e-mail from my supervisor containing a press release and a copy of a report, jointly published on the 7th February 2012, by Her Majesty's Criminal Justice System Inspectorate and Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary looking at the experiences of victims and witnesse in the criminal justice system...one aspect of this report was the area I'd focussed on in my study.

Thunder. Gone. My conclusions already there in print with someone elses name on them.

Being two large Government organisations they have obviously had a lot of co-operation from all aspects of the criminal justice system, they've had money to fund the research and they've probably had a large team of people collecting and analysing the data. I have, me, my computer and myself (and my supervisor of course). What chance did I have? If only I'd known what they were up to and I could have saved myself the time and effort and worked on something else...

My supervisor assures me that it's not a massive problem, I now have a great resource to reference, but I still feel short changed.

Will I ever beat the research clock? Who knows. Let the race continue.

Putting the D'oh in Dr...

2012-02-02T16:00:00.000Z

Throughout my studies I've noticed that us PhD students have a habit of being incredibly inefficient. The usual culprit is doing something by hand that could be done 100x faster on some form of computer software. When we are shown the error of our ways, shown how much time and effort we are wasting, we all have that moment where you see the light and generally a 'D'oh' moment is born. There's nothing technically wrong with the way you may be doing something, in fact, a few decades ago it would have been your only choice and you would have been commended on your attention to detail and dedication to get those time-gobbling tasks done. Referencing is one of the main culprits, but for us psychologists, statistical analysis is an equally guilty party.

I had such a 'D'oh' moment today...

I do not claim to be an expert in statistics, or even proficient. I definitely don't have any expertise in the use of SPSS (a particularly unhelpful statistical software package that the psychology world keeps in business despite it's complete and utter lack of a logical user interface). It would be safe to say that my four years of Undergraduate stats training, a year of Masters level stats training and a year and a half of working at PhD level have left me with a 'workable' level of SPSS knowledge, but only if I have a large cup of tea in one hand and my trusty Andy Field SPSS book in the other. Ok...I admit it...I can do one specific statistical test on it and that's about it....

Today, I was trying to put a lot of categorical data into percentages (basically what percentage of people said one thing compared to another). I thought to myself, this seems like something SPSS would be able to do for me, but I didn't have the slightest idea of where to even look for that sort of command. Nobody was around to ask so I decided to calculated the percentages the old fashioned way - well, with my iPhone, not with pen and paper! Funnily enough this was taking a looooooong time so I decided to revisit old SPSS...

Unsurprisingly, SPSS is quite capable of calculating categorical percentages and in fact I had been but two button clicks away from having the information right in front of me.

D'OH!!!

These little moments could, by a positive thinking person, be considered to be a moment of learning to be celebrated but it's very difficult to be that positive person when you realise just how much time you've been wasted. These moments happen a little too frequently and are completely soul destroying. My only solace is the fact that they happen to everyone else in the office too!!

Ciao for now!

Race to the Finish Line

2012-02-01T11:24:00.000Z

I consider my PhD to be a professional/academic challenge. A HUGE ONE! I don't think anyone could really disagree with that! It is mentally challenging more than anything else as a good 95% of my day involves being sat at a desk, staring at a computer screen. Not only is this not doing my eyesight any good, but it's doing nothing to improve my health.

Before Christmas I also added a personal challenge to my to-do list. I've never really been a big fan of exercise but I decided that this needed to change and I was going to try the Couch to 5K Challenge. The last exercise I did was probably a bit of light paced swimming, several years ago, and maybe a few aerobic classes in my freshers year of undergraduate so it was safe to say that I didn't have appropriate clothing. Running for the bus was usually enough to put me out of action!

After a sympathetic friend took me in hand to the alien world of sports clothes shopping I downloaded the Get Running app for my phone and got going. Three runs a week with a mixture of running and walking, the runs getting longer week by week. I'm in week 6 of 9 now and I'm completely amazed at just how much I enjoy my morning runs! I'm lucky enough to live a 5 minute walk away from Windsor Great Park and so I have beautiful scenery to look at as I huff and puff my way through the morning training session. It's time to myself to just focus on something non-PhD related and to let my mind wander and it's surprisingly liberating. No emails to check, no typing to be done. Just enjoying the view.

I've always been sceptical of fitness fanatics who sing praises of exercise and just how much more energy it gives you but I would have to say I've been converted around to their way of thinking. It's truly an addictive feeling and by following a training schedule I get to have a small sense of achievement at least three times a week when I finish a session. Little goals elsewhere in life are crucial when the ultimate PhD finish line is such a distant goal at the moment.

Knowing myself, I need some incentive to keep going with the running once I reach the end of this training programme in a few weeks time. So...to make sure I keep going I've signed up for a Race for Life 5K Challenge in July and the ShockAbsorber's WomensOnly 10K Challenge in October. Instant fear as soon as my registration e-mails arrived but again, they are further chances to overcome some sort of challenge and get that sense of achievement at the end of it. If I can overcome these challenges and make it across the finish line, then surely the race to thesis completion is achievable too?! (she tells herself!).

I'm hoping to raise some money to support the work done at Cancer Research - this wasn't intended as a big sell but you've got to take fundraising opportunities where you can find them! If anyone would like to sponsor me I would greatly appreciate it and you can do so by clicking on the logo below.

Wish me luck!!!

How to get a gay ol' PhD...

2012-01-23T13:15:00.000Z

For three hours a week, I work in the Careers Service. I provide feedback on CVs and application advise to students in one-to-one sessions. Fun. I'm telling you this because sometimes there isn't anyone booked in for a session and I'm left to browse the resources of the Careers Service....

Last time I did this I stumbled upon a book titled: How to get a PhD. WIN! I thought to myself. I'm being paid to find out how to get that Dr. before my very own Ainsworth! I then stumbled across the following chapter:

How to survive in a predominantly British, White, Male, Full-Time, Heterosexual, Academic Environment.

This sounds like something worth at least a scan through so I settled down in my student free moment to have a read ... really wish I hadn't. I photocopied one particular section because I was baffled by what I read...have a see what you think for yourselves:

"Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans-gender Students

Increasingly, gay and lesbian people wish to be frank with their friends and colleagues but this honesty opens up greater possibilities for discrimination. Gay or lesbian students who come out may find that their supervisors are nonplussed or antagonistic and this will complicate the relationship. Alternatively, if they remain silent but are subsequently outed they can become targets for harassment. They thus have a risky decision to make.

One way to avoid these problems is to ensure that you keep your emotional life and your professional life apart as far as possible, especially so far as members of academic staff are concerned. You might also try to discover some others in a similar situation for mutual support, and, if necessary, get together to influence your university to take these issues seriously. Don't forget that the student union is there to help all students and that includes you."

What the chuff were they thinking?????

So this book was first published in 1987 (and like any good academic I will provide the reference at the end of my rant!) but the edition that I was reading was a 2010 5th Edition....didn't anyone, anywhere along the publication line think that this was on the offensive side of things and in fact should be updated or, in fact, removed altogether? Seriously?!

I'll stop my little rant there, as my blood starts to boil.

Ciao for now :)

*horrific reference as promised: How to get a PhD: a handbook for students and their supervisors. Estelle Phillips & Derik Pugh, Open University Press

Merry Mondays

2012-01-16T11:58:00.000Z

Yet another Monday has turned up in the diary, interupting those relaxing couple of days off I was having and dragging me back into the office to get on with the thesis. Like many others, I cursed my alarm this morning and begrudgingly got out of bed and ready for the office. But are Mondays really all that bad?

I'd have to say no.

Without the structure of a working week, which happens to kick off with Monday, there would be no real sense of when I should really be doing some work. I wouldn't have that guilty feeling that I should be at my desk, and there would be one more hurdle for my motivation to overcome. Monday's are also a nice reminder that I'm not the only one working and crucially, there are times in my week when it's ok to not be working. I can close the documents, turn off the computer, and walk away from the desk and think about something else altogether during out of office hours and when the working week is over. Just, nobody tell my supervisor!!

As the months tick by, the concept of a working-week will become alien to me through sheer necessity and in its place will be an ugly, 24/7, caffeine fuelled marathon to the submission deadline. This is going to be awful and I'm scared of it already.

But until then, I think it's nice to feel the same dread towards a Monday morning like the rest of the world, a sense of normality. Besides, where would that Friday Feeling be without a Moody Monday to balance it out?

Ciao for now!

PhD: Procrastination Helps Degree...Honest!

2012-01-13T11:45:00.000Z

It's just typical. No-one ever pops into the office when I'm head down in a journal article or wading my way through a sticky statistical analysis or trying to write a chapter.

The only time someone does appear unannounced is during those precious few minutes when I've allowed myself to catch up on the latest Facebook posts or I'm watching the latest, hilarious, You Tube clip (usually sent to me by a fellow PhD!).

The more you protest that you're just taking a short break, the less they believe you and they leave the office with the firm belief that you're a slacker who's never going to complete their thesis on time.

Typical.

In my defence, I find a quick browse of Facebook is crucial to keeping me vaguely productive throughout the day when I have no immediate deadline on the horizon. At the moment, any deadline is set by me and I can choose to move it/ignore it/laugh at it. Granted, I have a lot of work to do, and shoud really crack on with it, but those few minutes distraction allow me a moment to relax, after which I can refocus and start another burst of activity. It's necessary. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or not trying to write a thesis.

So, yes, if you decide to pop by my office I am probably going to be caught minimising Facebook with a guilty look on my face. Judge me all you wish but it's all part of the process of Becoming Dr Ainsworth!

Ciao for now!

Walking the Line Between Being Inspired, Demoralised and Bored

2012-01-11T14:47:00.000Z

Postgraduate training courses can be simply categorised on the basis of four either/or questions. The answers to these questions allow any PhD student to determine A) whether a particular course is going to be of any use or just a collassal waste of time, and B) What mood you will arrive back at your desk in when it's over.

Is the course provided at University level or by your own Department?
Is the course topic referring to general life skills or specific/technical skills?
Is the course trying to make you employable anywhere or improve your chance of an academic career?
Is the course compulsory or voluntary?

A noticeable trend quickly reveals itself after attending one or two of these courses. If it is A) provided by the university, B) on a generic life skill, C) trying to make you employable, and, D) compulsory then you can safely conclude that you're about to lose 2hours/a day of your life and you'll never get it back. There will be enforced group tasks and 'class' interaction which will be wonderfully awkward as you're a PhD student! You work primarily alone and if you do interact with other PhDs they will be within your same discipline. Because of this a portion of the session will involve 'Introductions', the inevitable sticky label name-tag and a complete lack of group cohesion. The only thing you will take gain from this course is boredom and a perfectly formed doodle.

The upshot of "those" kinds of training course? You feel positively chipper about your career prospects, everything they said was so painfully obvious that you feel assured that you're ready for life in the real world. You can rush back to your desk or the lab, get on with your thesis and forget about it for a few more years. Hooray!!! You haven't learnt anything but you feel great about it!!!

Then we come to the flip side of the training coin.... If a course is A) provided by the department, B) specific and/or technical, C) focussed on progressing your academic career, and, D) voluntary then you're in for a whole different experience. It's 'in-house' so you're likely to know everyone, there'll be some jokes, a few laughs, someone might even bring cake! A friendly face from the lecturing staff will impart great wisdom to you and you'll lap up every word, making notes and reflecting on what they're saying. The course will end, you'll pause for a moment, thinking to yourself what a really valuable use of your time that was and then....

BAM!

I had one of these moments today. An Introduction to Academic Writing. Completely Voluntary. In the department. Really detailed, really useful advice. I was just pondering how much I'd gotten from those 2 hours and then BAM! I started to realise that the really useful system she talked about was far superior to what I've been doing. I realised just how much work I'd been making for myself and now how much work was going to be required to fix the mess I'd made of my chapters. I haven't even started an academic paper yet and you're telling me I need to publish before my viva....BAM BAM BAM BAM one after the other. Then you realise your brain is oozing our your ears and you don't want to be back at your desk, but in a dark room, with a duvet, a jar of nutella and a spoon...

Forewarned is forearmed. The compulsory University level courses are unavoidable, but go prepared with a good amount of doodle material or a few academic papers to read on the sly. If you're brave enough to sign up to a voluntary 'in-house' course....have a large bar of chocolate ready and waiting on your desk when you get back!

Ciao for now!

Thesis Antidote

2012-01-10T09:53:00.000Z

Hello World!

It crossed my mind this morning that having a 100,000 word book and a few academic papers to churn out before that rapidly approaching final deadline just might not be enough...and hey presto - a blog was born! I thought that a cheeky wee blog on the side might be a nice cathartic way to rant about the joys and sorrows of being a PhD student, giving my endlessly supportive friends and family time off for good behaviour.

Those close to me have shouldered the burden of my enthusiasm/disappointment/stress/ambivelance (delete as appropriate several times a day) for the fifteen months since I signed my soul away, committing myself to produce a doctoral thesis in three short years! Yikes!

As I make a good start into my second year (yep...reaching the halfway mark now) I find it hard to describe what kind of rollercoaster ride this experience is. From the highs of giving your first international conference presentation, to the lows of no-show participants, a lack of a significant result, hours spent transcribing and coding and any number of obstacles and frustrations that set you back along the way.

Why do I do it, you may ask? Well...as it says on the tin...it's all about Becoming Dr Ainsworth (and a few other more fulfilling and important reasons along the way!).

I won't bore you with the details of what I'm actually studying - maybe another post - but for now I'd just like to say thank you for reading (even if I'm the only one that reads this!)

Ciao for now!