Just a quick note to praise the longevity of pen and paper and their importance to PhD life...well, mine anyway.
Advances in technology have put computer desktops, laptops, tablets and smartphones wherever you look. The main purpose of technology is speed. To make tasks quicker, easier and more efficient. Of course, I am very grateful to be able to type my 80,000 word thesis rather than hand write it, for the software that can compute all the nasty statistics for me and programs that file and organise my references. I admit that mighty Google has been a life-saver on many occasions, and having instant access to materials from around the world through electronic journals has made research a much easier job than scholarly predecessors had. I have barely stepped foot in a library since I started studying but if I ever need to look at an actual book then Amazon.com usually does the trick. Without the beloved computer, my presentation skills would take a massive nosedive if I were forced to return to the days of acetate sheets, overhead projectors and hand-drawing tables and graphs. Let's not forget the hours of procrastination provided by Facebook, YouTube, and, for when you want to pretend you're keeping up to date with current affairs, BBC News.
Yes, technology really is wonderful and most of the time I would say it wins hands down, I couldn't do without it and I will admit to being surgically attached to my iPhone...BUT there are just some tasks I find almost impossible to do on-screen, no matter how fancy, clever and intuitive they make the software.
Reading academic papers, or reading anything for that matter is a key example. Proof-reading chapters/papers, presentations, etc. I am unlikely to be a Kindle convert any time soon. Yes you can highlight text, make comments and track changes when proof-reading and editing but it's just not the same as getting a hard copy and going to town on it with a highlighter, red pen and spreading the pages all over the place. It's much more satisfying scribbling through some ridiculous waffle you previously bashed out and scrawling "what was I thinking?!" in bright red ink, than simply pressing DELETE until the evidence is gone for ever. There's no danger of accidentally leaving some of your own 'bad writing commentary' on the final version as it will be in the recycling; type it in your document and it could be overlooked and sent to your supervisor by mistake.
Personal timetabling is another thing I just don't find as useful in the electronic world. I know there are people who swear by their smartphones, Google calendars, Outlook planners, and have every single aspect of their life synced to ensure they don't forget anything, but it just doesn't work for me. Give me a to-do list on my whiteboard or a list of notes in my diary and I'm happy as Larry (and more likely to turn up to my appointments and get the jobs done - most of the time).
Finally, brain-storming or doing a bit of tough mental work. I can sit and stare at a screen and try and work out a plan, or how my stats all work together and I may, eventually, reach an answer. But. give me a bunch of pens, preferably in a multitude of pretty colours, and some paper to hash out my ideas on and I'll get there much faster and with a greater sense of understanding. I don't know whether it's because you are physically writing out words and this takes you longer, giving you time to work things through, but I find writing things down can often be the only way of wrapping my head around something I'm particularly struggling with. Personally, I don't think you can beat a handwritten spider-diagram for planning or revision.
It may be because you have to engage your brain a little more when handwriting something, at least I think so anyway...don't quote me. Whatever the reason, I value my stationary just as much as the several hundreds of pounds worth of technology I use to help me get through my studies. I will never have a fully digitised existence. My house will always be full of real books and I'll enjoy reading a handwritten card or letter much more than an e-mail. I might not be able to live without technology but I couldn't do without the traditional way either!
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
Monday, 30 July 2012
In My Expert Opinion...Wait...What?!
I realise that as a now, nearly, third year PhD student I should be pretty much 'on it' when it comes to my research topic. By the time this thing is all wrapped up, bound and gathering dust on my bookshelf I should consider myself an expert on the whole shebang. But that all feels very distant and far away at the moment, or is that the denial kicking in?
With as this 'supposed' expert status rapidly approaches it just seems so hard to believe after spending the last two years asking for help. It doesn't seem that long ago since me, my luggage, my Northern-come -Scottish accent and I arrived in the South with not a scooby doo on how to go about this whole PhD malarky. It felt like I was having to ask absolute everyone on what I should be doing, and how I needed to do it.
How does the ethics system work here? How do I recruit schools for my study? How does the Research Participation System work? Could I please have a copy of your paper Mr/Mrs Bigshot Academic? What methods did you use for your research? How do I analyse the data? Which conferences should I go to? Where can I get funding? What do you say to a tutorial full of students that haven't done the reading? Who knows about this area of research? Who can help me with....*insert endless list of needs and questions here*
So it makes a nice change when someone comes to me and asks me how to do something on the expectation that I'm likely to know better than they do! My fellow PhD intake buddies and I got a flavour of this when last year's PhD students started, and I'm sure there will be just as many questions when next year's batch start in September. We had somehow acquired a year's worth of semi-useful knowledge and when people start to ask you things, and you start to be able to answer, you realise just how far you have come.
Last week, and again today, I got an e-mail from two Post-Doctoral Researchers asking my advice and opinion on a study they were putting together. They also were keen to know more about my own research in order to help them write a paper, asking if I had any papers that they could read and cite! (Unfortunately I haven't written any papers yet but I was able to send some data summaries to help them out and I think they may cite my conference presentations instead!).
They've been where I am already, they've done the whole PhD thing BUT they haven't done it in my area. So, even though their experience and knowledge will far outstrip mine in many areas, it seems I've somehow become a 'go-to' person on refreshing testimony and that's both encouraging and terrifying first thing on a Monday morning.
I wouldn't consider myself an expert in anything - other than maybe Disney or Harry Potter but few professions will find that kind of information anything other than geeky - but it is nice to be paid the compliment of someone asking.
With as this 'supposed' expert status rapidly approaches it just seems so hard to believe after spending the last two years asking for help. It doesn't seem that long ago since me, my luggage, my Northern-come -Scottish accent and I arrived in the South with not a scooby doo on how to go about this whole PhD malarky. It felt like I was having to ask absolute everyone on what I should be doing, and how I needed to do it.
How does the ethics system work here? How do I recruit schools for my study? How does the Research Participation System work? Could I please have a copy of your paper Mr/Mrs Bigshot Academic? What methods did you use for your research? How do I analyse the data? Which conferences should I go to? Where can I get funding? What do you say to a tutorial full of students that haven't done the reading? Who knows about this area of research? Who can help me with....*insert endless list of needs and questions here*
So it makes a nice change when someone comes to me and asks me how to do something on the expectation that I'm likely to know better than they do! My fellow PhD intake buddies and I got a flavour of this when last year's PhD students started, and I'm sure there will be just as many questions when next year's batch start in September. We had somehow acquired a year's worth of semi-useful knowledge and when people start to ask you things, and you start to be able to answer, you realise just how far you have come.
Last week, and again today, I got an e-mail from two Post-Doctoral Researchers asking my advice and opinion on a study they were putting together. They also were keen to know more about my own research in order to help them write a paper, asking if I had any papers that they could read and cite! (Unfortunately I haven't written any papers yet but I was able to send some data summaries to help them out and I think they may cite my conference presentations instead!).
They've been where I am already, they've done the whole PhD thing BUT they haven't done it in my area. So, even though their experience and knowledge will far outstrip mine in many areas, it seems I've somehow become a 'go-to' person on refreshing testimony and that's both encouraging and terrifying first thing on a Monday morning.
I wouldn't consider myself an expert in anything - other than maybe Disney or Harry Potter but few professions will find that kind of information anything other than geeky - but it is nice to be paid the compliment of someone asking.
Monday, 18 June 2012
Feeling Blue-da-ba-dee-da-ba-daaaa
When you start out doing a PhD everyone tells you it will be one of the most difficult things you've ever done. Your motivation will fluctuate and there will be times when it will be a constant struggle to keep working towards the finish line. You're told that you will be sick of the sight of your data, your supervisor and your writing and you will slowly lose your soul, becoming disillusioned with the whole thing after having nothing else but your thesis to focus on for three solid years.
At the very beginning of a PhD it's difficult to comprehend these sentiments and near impossible to believe that this is how things are going to turn out for you because the longest project you're likely to have worked on will have been a only been few a months long. The end was always in sight with these projects and you always had other deadlines, lectures and exams to divide your time between. There really is no way to know how soul destroying a thesis can be until you're half way through and by that point it's too late to turn back and choose not to start it in the first place.
Since coming back from the conference (where I had two lovely weeks off) I have spent a week jet-lagged and a week unwell. That's another two weeks where I didn't really get much PhD work done other than firing off some e-mails and submitting an ethics form for my last study (yes, LAST...eek). It's now Monday afternoon of week three and I just couldn't get myself out of bed and into the office this morning, despite my grand plans to be there first thing to finish my analysis and kick start the right up of another chapter. Granted I didn't sleep well last night but after resetting my alarm 5 times it was only 9am, there shouldn't have been anything stopping me from going in and getting on with my ever growing to-do list. Instead I sat and moped on the sofa drinking cup after cup of tea, watching back-to-back Scrubs and wondering why I didn't feel in any way guilty that I wasn't working on my thesis all hours of the day like I know I should be... I just don't know what to do with myself and I can't even muster up enough concern to snap myself out of it and get back to work. At the moment, I quite frankly couldn't care any less.
When I think about the amount of work that I still need to do it really is quite an overwhelming list. I can make an intellectual guess at how long it is all likely to take but rather than freaking out and realising that I should get a move on get on with it all it's almost like I'm completely detached from the whole thing. 'The Fear' has left the building leaving behind 'The Bemused' who, frankly, isn't that helpful in motivating me to start working at all, let alone flat out like I need to.
I'm not quite sure how to kick this little doom and gloom cloud that seems to be hovering over me. I'm hoping something will come and blow it away, and fast. I may feel like I want all this PhD malarky to be over, to be scroll hand with the initials after my name but I know that it's going to take a lot of time and a painful amount of effort to get there and it won't happen all by itself. My effort may have gone on an extended vacation but time is ticking on regardless and I know I'm just wasting the days I have left each time I give in to my indifference and press 'play' on the DVD.
So, I will join all the voices of previous scholars who started the quest to become a Dr, warning anyone thinking of doing the same that it WILL feel like it's never going to end, you WILL want to give up, and there WILL be days, weeks, months where you simply just don't care anymore. BUT part of me is still hopeful that I'll also be able to join the same voices in a couple of years time to be able to say that it's all worth it, you come through those difficult times and you pull it all together....
fingers crossed, eh?
At the very beginning of a PhD it's difficult to comprehend these sentiments and near impossible to believe that this is how things are going to turn out for you because the longest project you're likely to have worked on will have been a only been few a months long. The end was always in sight with these projects and you always had other deadlines, lectures and exams to divide your time between. There really is no way to know how soul destroying a thesis can be until you're half way through and by that point it's too late to turn back and choose not to start it in the first place.
Since coming back from the conference (where I had two lovely weeks off) I have spent a week jet-lagged and a week unwell. That's another two weeks where I didn't really get much PhD work done other than firing off some e-mails and submitting an ethics form for my last study (yes, LAST...eek). It's now Monday afternoon of week three and I just couldn't get myself out of bed and into the office this morning, despite my grand plans to be there first thing to finish my analysis and kick start the right up of another chapter. Granted I didn't sleep well last night but after resetting my alarm 5 times it was only 9am, there shouldn't have been anything stopping me from going in and getting on with my ever growing to-do list. Instead I sat and moped on the sofa drinking cup after cup of tea, watching back-to-back Scrubs and wondering why I didn't feel in any way guilty that I wasn't working on my thesis all hours of the day like I know I should be... I just don't know what to do with myself and I can't even muster up enough concern to snap myself out of it and get back to work. At the moment, I quite frankly couldn't care any less.
When I think about the amount of work that I still need to do it really is quite an overwhelming list. I can make an intellectual guess at how long it is all likely to take but rather than freaking out and realising that I should get a move on get on with it all it's almost like I'm completely detached from the whole thing. 'The Fear' has left the building leaving behind 'The Bemused' who, frankly, isn't that helpful in motivating me to start working at all, let alone flat out like I need to.
I'm not quite sure how to kick this little doom and gloom cloud that seems to be hovering over me. I'm hoping something will come and blow it away, and fast. I may feel like I want all this PhD malarky to be over, to be scroll hand with the initials after my name but I know that it's going to take a lot of time and a painful amount of effort to get there and it won't happen all by itself. My effort may have gone on an extended vacation but time is ticking on regardless and I know I'm just wasting the days I have left each time I give in to my indifference and press 'play' on the DVD.
So, I will join all the voices of previous scholars who started the quest to become a Dr, warning anyone thinking of doing the same that it WILL feel like it's never going to end, you WILL want to give up, and there WILL be days, weeks, months where you simply just don't care anymore. BUT part of me is still hopeful that I'll also be able to join the same voices in a couple of years time to be able to say that it's all worth it, you come through those difficult times and you pull it all together....
fingers crossed, eh?
Friday, 8 June 2012
The Joys and Sorrows of a Conference
One of the more glamorous aspects of academia is the opportunity to attend conferences and if you're very lucky, you'll be able to beg, plead and bargain your way into getting some funding to help you pay your way. A conference, particularly the international kind, is a great way to meet other researchers in your area, to keep up to date with the latest findings and to get some feedback on your own studies through a poster or oral presentation.
In the first year of my PhD I attended three conferences in the glitzy and tropical locations of Hull, Cambridge and Dundee. All three were interesting, provided great networking opportunities and sparked some interesting ideas for my own work, but fundamentally I didn't need my passport to get there. This was quite disappointing, but of course I'm not just doing this for the travel opportunities...
This year I hit the jackpot! The International Investigative Interviewing Research Group (iIIRG) held their annual conference a little further afield and before I knew it my flights were paid, the hotel was booked and my bags were packed. We were going to Toronto, Canada!
Although the chance to visit somewhere new is great, conferences can be a very lonely, especially when they are abroad. Most of the researchers already know each other and have forgotten how difficult it was for them to network when they were lowly PhD students. You never really know what to do during the refreshment and lunch breaks because everyone already seems to know everyone else and if you're not a particularly outgoing person it can be difficult to strike up conversations with strangers (in this case the answer was easy = sunbathe on the rooftop patio) . Thankfully my supervisor and one of the Post-Docs from our lab group were attending, and I'd met some fellow PhD students at the conference the year before, so I didn't feel like too much of a wall flower this time as I knew there would be a few friendly faces!
If you are lucky you may have the presentation fear to contend with. I was giving one of the presentations this year and it is something I dread with every fibre of my being! At the last conference my presentation had gone well, I'd got good feedback and questions and I felt I had done a good job. As an unknown name I had been put in a smaller venue last year and the room had been pretty packed which can be the only reason I can think of as to why they decided to put me in the main room this year...with a stage...and a podium...and a lot of anxiety. If you do get a paper accepted at a conference it really is something to be celebrated but it is a nerve wracking experience for someone who fears public speaking. I may have talked a little fast this year, lost my way a little and but I think I handled the questions at the end well and again, good comments and feedback so it wasn't a complete disaster. The best thing a PhD can do is get their research and their name out in the field and hope something good comes of it later when you're on the hunt for a job. Fingers crossed someone somewhere will remember me for the right reasons.
Aside fromt these slight negatives, there's so much you can take from attending a conference. There's the excitement of getting the programme and working out which presentations you're most interested in and having an internal battle with yourself when there's a timetabling clash - do you go with what you're most interested in hearing about or with what is potentially most useful for your PhD, it's a tough decision, one not always entirely weighted towards the PhD (oops!). This years conference had some inspiring presentations from both academics and professionals, something that iIIRG strives to achieve, and left me with a lot of quickly scribbled notes and a lot to think about.
Another exciting part of conferencing is that you never know who're you're going to meet. Over one lunch break I was sat with a lovely man who works in the business which is heading up the technological revolution in digital evidence gathering and storage and we had a lovely chat. You can imagine my surprise when later that day I found myself sipping ice win at the evening's social event with an FBI agent! I think I managed to play it cool ... just! You may just meet your future employer at the conference so it can be quite tiring trying to make a good impression to everyone - not a time to drink to much or sleep in.
Thankfully, I had a lot of funding to go with this exciting trip which meant I could save up my own hard earned cash and extend the trip into a HOLIDAY! My partner came along too and we took ourselves down to New York for a few days and had a few days back in Toronto before we flew home. It's a long way to go just for three days so why not take the chance to make the most of it I say!
It may be exhausting and daunting but there are so many positives to attending conferences as a PhD student that they by far outway the negatives.
Next stop on the conference bus? The Netherlands!!!!
Ciao for now
In the first year of my PhD I attended three conferences in the glitzy and tropical locations of Hull, Cambridge and Dundee. All three were interesting, provided great networking opportunities and sparked some interesting ideas for my own work, but fundamentally I didn't need my passport to get there. This was quite disappointing, but of course I'm not just doing this for the travel opportunities...
This year I hit the jackpot! The International Investigative Interviewing Research Group (iIIRG) held their annual conference a little further afield and before I knew it my flights were paid, the hotel was booked and my bags were packed. We were going to Toronto, Canada!
Although the chance to visit somewhere new is great, conferences can be a very lonely, especially when they are abroad. Most of the researchers already know each other and have forgotten how difficult it was for them to network when they were lowly PhD students. You never really know what to do during the refreshment and lunch breaks because everyone already seems to know everyone else and if you're not a particularly outgoing person it can be difficult to strike up conversations with strangers (in this case the answer was easy = sunbathe on the rooftop patio) . Thankfully my supervisor and one of the Post-Docs from our lab group were attending, and I'd met some fellow PhD students at the conference the year before, so I didn't feel like too much of a wall flower this time as I knew there would be a few friendly faces!
If you are lucky you may have the presentation fear to contend with. I was giving one of the presentations this year and it is something I dread with every fibre of my being! At the last conference my presentation had gone well, I'd got good feedback and questions and I felt I had done a good job. As an unknown name I had been put in a smaller venue last year and the room had been pretty packed which can be the only reason I can think of as to why they decided to put me in the main room this year...with a stage...and a podium...and a lot of anxiety. If you do get a paper accepted at a conference it really is something to be celebrated but it is a nerve wracking experience for someone who fears public speaking. I may have talked a little fast this year, lost my way a little and but I think I handled the questions at the end well and again, good comments and feedback so it wasn't a complete disaster. The best thing a PhD can do is get their research and their name out in the field and hope something good comes of it later when you're on the hunt for a job. Fingers crossed someone somewhere will remember me for the right reasons.
Aside fromt these slight negatives, there's so much you can take from attending a conference. There's the excitement of getting the programme and working out which presentations you're most interested in and having an internal battle with yourself when there's a timetabling clash - do you go with what you're most interested in hearing about or with what is potentially most useful for your PhD, it's a tough decision, one not always entirely weighted towards the PhD (oops!). This years conference had some inspiring presentations from both academics and professionals, something that iIIRG strives to achieve, and left me with a lot of quickly scribbled notes and a lot to think about.
Another exciting part of conferencing is that you never know who're you're going to meet. Over one lunch break I was sat with a lovely man who works in the business which is heading up the technological revolution in digital evidence gathering and storage and we had a lovely chat. You can imagine my surprise when later that day I found myself sipping ice win at the evening's social event with an FBI agent! I think I managed to play it cool ... just! You may just meet your future employer at the conference so it can be quite tiring trying to make a good impression to everyone - not a time to drink to much or sleep in.
Thankfully, I had a lot of funding to go with this exciting trip which meant I could save up my own hard earned cash and extend the trip into a HOLIDAY! My partner came along too and we took ourselves down to New York for a few days and had a few days back in Toronto before we flew home. It's a long way to go just for three days so why not take the chance to make the most of it I say!
It may be exhausting and daunting but there are so many positives to attending conferences as a PhD student that they by far outway the negatives.
Next stop on the conference bus? The Netherlands!!!!
Ciao for now
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
The Significance of No Significance
I don't know how 'tearing your hair out' became a phrase and symbol of stress and despair. Maybe the 'head in hands' pose was insufficient one day and someone needed to take it a step further and, presto... However it came around it fits the bill for how I'm feeling right now.
Months and months of testing, enduring no shows and no brain participants, not to mention the bitter coldness of our lab room in winter, have been followed by many hours of coding, with many more hours are still to be come. I'm halfway through inputting my data into the "friendly" statistics software that is SPSS when I thought I'd treat myself to a cheeky bit of analysis to get some preliminary results, us PhD students have to get our daily excitement somewhere.
It's difficult to describe the hopeful build up as you click various buttons, check boxes and give your analysis commands. The excitement builds during those few moments as SPSS computes and the anticipation heightens as you scroll through the output to get to that all crucial p value which either makes or breaks your hypothesis...
It is NOT difficult to describe the stomach sinking disappointment when the p value indicates that your analysis is not significant, it's not even in the neighbourhood of significant. In fact, it might as well have jumped on a plane and flown around the world to the other side as it would probably be closer to significance over there. I know this is only half my data set but I would be expecting it to give me some indication as to which direction it was heading in, and it's not looking good at the moment folks.
Having spent a large chunk of time working out a logical rationale for these hypotheses, I've reasoned why I expect what I expect and when the unexpected happens, thern where are am left? I have either conducted a poor experiment which doesn't measure what I thought it would, not a great position to be in if we're honest, or my non-significant result is significantly interesting. How on earth do you make the distinction? More hypotheses, more experiments, more anticipation and the threat of even more disappointment. Isn't academia fun?
Academic journals seem to shy away from the publication of non-significant results unless you can prove the significance of your non-significance. I might have a shot of this but it's going to take another few months of testing, transcribing, coding and analysing to find out.
Lucky me.
Monday, 30 April 2012
Tuning In, Growing up and Looking Back.
There's no denying that this post has very little to do with my PhD but it does give some insight into my procrastination habits, prompted by a recent purchase of the first seasion of Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place on DVD - a happy place from my younger years.
A recurring topic of conversation amongst people of a similar age and background, usually over a drink in the pub, is which TV shows you watched as a child. Anyone born towards the back end of the 80s and early 90s will have been exposed to some truly wonderful/awful tv shows during their childhood and Youtubing the intros to such programmes can be a happy pastime. It instantly conjours up feelings of rose-tinted nostalgia, happy memories and provides hours of entertainment. Putting them all in one place will save me some time during future moments of boredeom and if you find an old favourite listed amongst these then you're just one click away from having a happy minute at your own desk.
You can't forget the incredibly catchy Poddington Peas theme tune, or the genuine distress that you felt when watching the Animals of Farthing Wood. Then there's The Funny Bones and I must admit that I spent a chunk of my undergraduate degree watching episodes of the Gummy Bears instead of revising (I'm now outraged to learn that you can only buy Gummy Bears on US Region DVD...gutted!).
During my first school days I used to love coming home to watch Budgie the Little Helicopter, Power Rangers, episodes of Chucklevision, Bodger and Badger, Rosie and Jim or Tots TV ... and Brum! A particular favourite has got to be Fun House. Stupid children covering themselves in gunk, making a mess and complete fools of themselves with the help of two cheerleaders - what's not to like?
Saturday mornings were spent watching Live & Kicking wrapped in a duvet or back-to-back Sabrina the Teenage Witch (which you can rent from LoveFilm FYI...just waiting for the next disc of Season 2 to arrive, thank you very much!), Hang Time or Saved by the Bell and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air were always great ways to pass the time!!
Then there are shows which I was probably too old to watch at the time but, being the big kid that I am, I watched and loved them anyway, such as Arthur and, lets be honest, who didn't watch Teletubbies!?
When I look back to my PhD years it's probably going to be the Friends theme tune that makes me smile the most - an irreplaceable favourite. Many years from now I will still be watching the boxset from start to finish once a year and enjoying every moment that I know off by heart.
They just don't make TV intros like they used to but at least we can enjoy the good ones at the click of a button.
Happy Watching :)
A recurring topic of conversation amongst people of a similar age and background, usually over a drink in the pub, is which TV shows you watched as a child. Anyone born towards the back end of the 80s and early 90s will have been exposed to some truly wonderful/awful tv shows during their childhood and Youtubing the intros to such programmes can be a happy pastime. It instantly conjours up feelings of rose-tinted nostalgia, happy memories and provides hours of entertainment. Putting them all in one place will save me some time during future moments of boredeom and if you find an old favourite listed amongst these then you're just one click away from having a happy minute at your own desk.
You can't forget the incredibly catchy Poddington Peas theme tune, or the genuine distress that you felt when watching the Animals of Farthing Wood. Then there's The Funny Bones and I must admit that I spent a chunk of my undergraduate degree watching episodes of the Gummy Bears instead of revising (I'm now outraged to learn that you can only buy Gummy Bears on US Region DVD...gutted!).
During my first school days I used to love coming home to watch Budgie the Little Helicopter, Power Rangers, episodes of Chucklevision, Bodger and Badger, Rosie and Jim or Tots TV ... and Brum! A particular favourite has got to be Fun House. Stupid children covering themselves in gunk, making a mess and complete fools of themselves with the help of two cheerleaders - what's not to like?
Saturday mornings were spent watching Live & Kicking wrapped in a duvet or back-to-back Sabrina the Teenage Witch (which you can rent from LoveFilm FYI...just waiting for the next disc of Season 2 to arrive, thank you very much!), Hang Time or Saved by the Bell and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air were always great ways to pass the time!!
Then there are shows which I was probably too old to watch at the time but, being the big kid that I am, I watched and loved them anyway, such as Arthur and, lets be honest, who didn't watch Teletubbies!?
When I look back to my PhD years it's probably going to be the Friends theme tune that makes me smile the most - an irreplaceable favourite. Many years from now I will still be watching the boxset from start to finish once a year and enjoying every moment that I know off by heart.
They just don't make TV intros like they used to but at least we can enjoy the good ones at the click of a button.
Happy Watching :)
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Bittersweet Bank Holidays
A bank holiday is a welcome day for the majority of people: you either get a 'free' day off or you get paid more than usual if you still have to work. Whichever of these categories you fall into, people are generally pleased despite the British tradition of making every bank holiday cold and rainy.
With this in mind, people become positively giddy around Easter. In addition to the traditional celebrations and over-chocolated children, there is a double whammy with not one, but two bank holidays! Woohoo!
A four day weekend is a luxury and while the rest of the country felt smug as they turned off their alarms for a nice mini-break, the academic world took things one step further. My College felt the need to turn the four day weekend into a six day one, by giving everyone two "discretionary" days off, either side of the bank holidays. All the services closed and most of the academics stayed at home. A nice and relaxing time was had by all...well, not quite.
PhD students, who quite frankly aren't too sure what to do with themselves at the best of times, are handed a bona fide bank holiday excuse for kicking up their feet with everyone else and taking some well earned time off. Yet many will tie themselves in knots trying to descide whether they will actually take the time off or still come in and work like the studious individuals they like to hope/pretend that they are.
There is the argument that nobody else will be working. You won't be able to contact your supervisor so you should make the most of this chance and relax. You've worked hard since Christmas, you're not going to get another chance for 'free' time off for several months so you would be a fool not to. Your better half is off work and you're beginning to forget what their face looks like so this would be a great opportunity to spend some time with them. Cheers all around from the 'time off' camp.
BUT...then there's the counter-argument: well the department will be so much quieter, you could get so much work done with nobody else around to distract you. There's so much work to be done and every day that passes takes you one day to closer to the end of your funding and then what are you going to do? If you take a few days off, will you be looking back and cursing them in a few months when you're running out of time? Are your fellow PhD colleagues working? Are you going to look like a complete slacker for taking the time off if everybody else comes in to work?
What to do? What to do? What to do?
So this argument goes back and forth, back and forth. There are some conscientious PhD students who work all year round, they don't need a break, bank holidays are for wusses, etc. They spend every waking hour at their desk/library/lab and, personally, I think these people need to get a grip, and probably some sunlight and social interaction. There are other PhDs who take more time off than they really should and will be struggling to the finish line. You often wonder what it is they actually do with their time, and their funding. And then there's everyone else in the middle, struggling to find the balance between the first group of sunlight deprived keenos and the second, whose chances of submitting become slimmer every day.
What do the inbetweeners like me do? Well, they take the time off, kind of enjoy it, allow themselves to relax a little and then spend a large proportion of the time with their mind in the office, checking their e-mails to make sure their supervisor hasn't decided to test their dedication and get in touch during the day. They are racked with guilt, worrying about those few precious days they've lost, returning to the office just as stressed as they were before this 'wonderful' holiday that everybody else in the country took off.
Ciao for now!
With this in mind, people become positively giddy around Easter. In addition to the traditional celebrations and over-chocolated children, there is a double whammy with not one, but two bank holidays! Woohoo!
A four day weekend is a luxury and while the rest of the country felt smug as they turned off their alarms for a nice mini-break, the academic world took things one step further. My College felt the need to turn the four day weekend into a six day one, by giving everyone two "discretionary" days off, either side of the bank holidays. All the services closed and most of the academics stayed at home. A nice and relaxing time was had by all...well, not quite.
PhD students, who quite frankly aren't too sure what to do with themselves at the best of times, are handed a bona fide bank holiday excuse for kicking up their feet with everyone else and taking some well earned time off. Yet many will tie themselves in knots trying to descide whether they will actually take the time off or still come in and work like the studious individuals they like to hope/pretend that they are.
There is the argument that nobody else will be working. You won't be able to contact your supervisor so you should make the most of this chance and relax. You've worked hard since Christmas, you're not going to get another chance for 'free' time off for several months so you would be a fool not to. Your better half is off work and you're beginning to forget what their face looks like so this would be a great opportunity to spend some time with them. Cheers all around from the 'time off' camp.
BUT...then there's the counter-argument: well the department will be so much quieter, you could get so much work done with nobody else around to distract you. There's so much work to be done and every day that passes takes you one day to closer to the end of your funding and then what are you going to do? If you take a few days off, will you be looking back and cursing them in a few months when you're running out of time? Are your fellow PhD colleagues working? Are you going to look like a complete slacker for taking the time off if everybody else comes in to work?
What to do? What to do? What to do?
So this argument goes back and forth, back and forth. There are some conscientious PhD students who work all year round, they don't need a break, bank holidays are for wusses, etc. They spend every waking hour at their desk/library/lab and, personally, I think these people need to get a grip, and probably some sunlight and social interaction. There are other PhDs who take more time off than they really should and will be struggling to the finish line. You often wonder what it is they actually do with their time, and their funding. And then there's everyone else in the middle, struggling to find the balance between the first group of sunlight deprived keenos and the second, whose chances of submitting become slimmer every day.
What do the inbetweeners like me do? Well, they take the time off, kind of enjoy it, allow themselves to relax a little and then spend a large proportion of the time with their mind in the office, checking their e-mails to make sure their supervisor hasn't decided to test their dedication and get in touch during the day. They are racked with guilt, worrying about those few precious days they've lost, returning to the office just as stressed as they were before this 'wonderful' holiday that everybody else in the country took off.
Ciao for now!
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
The Fog of Ambiguity
It's 4pm on what feels like the longest Tuesday of my life. It is a beautiful day outside, glorious sunshine and not a cloud in the sky. Despite this, my little head feels like it's full of fog, with only random words, concepts and definitions floating out of the mist and crashing into each other. This does not give me a sunny disposition to match the weather.
My task for today was to finish the introduction to one of my chapters, something I didn't expect to take me all day as I only had one more section to go. What I've actually ended up doing since I arrived at my desk is writing and re-writing the same few paragraphs over and over. Each time I think I've wrapped my head around a definition and whether one author is using a different one compared to another it has been back to the drawing board as the definition really is crucial to the point I'm trying to make. My head feels like it has gone through the wringer and the more I try to understand the further away it all seems to get.
(The concept is hypermnesia by the way and I've decided that it means an increase in recall accuracy across multiple interviews where the net gain of new information is more than the loss of information - they can take it or leave it)
Several studies have based their definition on one paper and all, in their own blundering way, have regurgitated that definition for their own use. As far as I could tell they were all on the same page, all talking about the same thing, all making sense. Yes, some of them had found contradictory results but as far as I was concerned that was down to the glaringly obvious differences in their methods, nothing to do with the definitions.
I then came across a more recent paper from a well respected psychologist who boldy claims that X didn't get the same results because their definition and way of measuring hypermnesia is more strict and difficult than everyone elses. Hmmm... I thought, that's odd. I would like to think I would have noticed something like that...
So it began. I have been back over six or seven papers today, reading them in their entirity, reading their definitions only, placing them side by side and reading the definitions one after the other, and I even roped in an office mate to try and help wade through my confusion. After all this I still have no idea whether I'm coming or going, who thinks what and whether it actually makes a difference at all so why have I spent ALL DAY trying to figure it out...argh!
What I think it all boils down to is some pretty shoddy writing on a few authors behalf. One paper, for example, contradicts its own definition within the same paragraph. The original catalyst for this day of dispair, claims that X is using a stricter measure but then, from what I can tell, goes on to use the same measure themselves. The same measure, in fact, that everybody else chuffing used - so why kick up the fuss in the first place? I've gone around in so many circles that I've almost lost the point I was trying to make in the first place. I've now convinced myself it must have been a stroke of pure genius otherwise I wouldn't have spent so long trying to figure this all out. It better have been, but now I'm not so sure.
We had a training session a few weeks ago on the clarity of writing and how important it was and this has been a painful experience that reinforces just how true that is. If someone with a background in your area can't fathom what on earth your point is then why bother? The purpose of research is to gain an understanding about how things work and to try and add to the general knowledge of the world. If people can't work out what you've done, what you found or what you mean then you might as well pack up, go home and give your funding to someone who can clearly express themselves.
Clarity is what we would all like, what would make our lives easier. Please leave your ambiguity at the door and make some chuffing sense.
Is that too much to ask?
My task for today was to finish the introduction to one of my chapters, something I didn't expect to take me all day as I only had one more section to go. What I've actually ended up doing since I arrived at my desk is writing and re-writing the same few paragraphs over and over. Each time I think I've wrapped my head around a definition and whether one author is using a different one compared to another it has been back to the drawing board as the definition really is crucial to the point I'm trying to make. My head feels like it has gone through the wringer and the more I try to understand the further away it all seems to get.
(The concept is hypermnesia by the way and I've decided that it means an increase in recall accuracy across multiple interviews where the net gain of new information is more than the loss of information - they can take it or leave it)
Several studies have based their definition on one paper and all, in their own blundering way, have regurgitated that definition for their own use. As far as I could tell they were all on the same page, all talking about the same thing, all making sense. Yes, some of them had found contradictory results but as far as I was concerned that was down to the glaringly obvious differences in their methods, nothing to do with the definitions.
I then came across a more recent paper from a well respected psychologist who boldy claims that X didn't get the same results because their definition and way of measuring hypermnesia is more strict and difficult than everyone elses. Hmmm... I thought, that's odd. I would like to think I would have noticed something like that...
So it began. I have been back over six or seven papers today, reading them in their entirity, reading their definitions only, placing them side by side and reading the definitions one after the other, and I even roped in an office mate to try and help wade through my confusion. After all this I still have no idea whether I'm coming or going, who thinks what and whether it actually makes a difference at all so why have I spent ALL DAY trying to figure it out...argh!
What I think it all boils down to is some pretty shoddy writing on a few authors behalf. One paper, for example, contradicts its own definition within the same paragraph. The original catalyst for this day of dispair, claims that X is using a stricter measure but then, from what I can tell, goes on to use the same measure themselves. The same measure, in fact, that everybody else chuffing used - so why kick up the fuss in the first place? I've gone around in so many circles that I've almost lost the point I was trying to make in the first place. I've now convinced myself it must have been a stroke of pure genius otherwise I wouldn't have spent so long trying to figure this all out. It better have been, but now I'm not so sure.
We had a training session a few weeks ago on the clarity of writing and how important it was and this has been a painful experience that reinforces just how true that is. If someone with a background in your area can't fathom what on earth your point is then why bother? The purpose of research is to gain an understanding about how things work and to try and add to the general knowledge of the world. If people can't work out what you've done, what you found or what you mean then you might as well pack up, go home and give your funding to someone who can clearly express themselves.
Clarity is what we would all like, what would make our lives easier. Please leave your ambiguity at the door and make some chuffing sense.
Is that too much to ask?
Monday, 12 March 2012
The Mail Room, Tea Breaks and Memory Failures
Multi-tasking is key in the quest to become Dr Ainsworth and I would argue that I am, on the whole, quite skilled at juggling multiple tasks at once. I do so on a regular day-to-day basis with little conscious effort or advanced planning. I just do. We all do.
Unfortuntately (and really, REALLY frustrating for me), it would seem that there are two specific tasks that I simply cannot combine successfullly, even though I specifically set out with the intention of doing them both at the same time: picking up printing from the mail room and making myself a cup of tea. Why this is this case, I have absolutely no idea.
Let me explain (if you care enough to keep reading, I won't be offended if you don't! This is a rather mundane rant after all!):
Me and my fellow officemates are based on the top floor of our building. Most of the printers are based on the floor below us. To get there requires a hop, skip and a jump along the corridor, with the opening of many doors along the way, down the stairs, through more doors and into the mail room to collect our printing. Conveniently, or so it should be, next door to the mail room is the meeting room, home to the tea-making facilities.
After being sat at a desk for a few hours, as I'm sure many people will sympathise with, it's nice to have a walk to stretch your legs and it's definitely nice to have a cup of tea! Although I may wish to stretch my legs I don't want to walk up and down the stairs all day long so I often try to kill two birds with one stone. I will send things to the printer when I know I'm going to want a cup of tea so I can walk down, put the kettle on, collect the printing, make the tea and return to my office triumphant and looking semi-productive to passers-by as I stroll past with my pile of articles or chapter drafts.
99.9% of the time this plan fails. I return with tea but no printing or printing but no tea. It's not until I've walked back upstairs and got back to my desk when I realise my mistake, curse, and have to go all the way back down again. Granted, it's not far, but it's the principle of the matter which irritates me the most. I wouldn't be half as annoyed if it didn't happen almost EVERY single time! ARGH!!!
It doesn't matter which order I try and do things in either. If I put the kettle on and then go straight to the mail room while the kettle boils then I forget to go and make the tea. If I wait for the kettle to boil I head straight back upstairs once the tea is made. There's no winning. EVER.
I could always look on the bright side and think of it as a few extra calories burned but if I'd wanted to do that I wouldn't have tried to do the two things at the same time now would I?
Answers on a postcard as to how on earth I fix my main multi-tasking failure gratefully received!
Ciao for now.
Unfortuntately (and really, REALLY frustrating for me), it would seem that there are two specific tasks that I simply cannot combine successfullly, even though I specifically set out with the intention of doing them both at the same time: picking up printing from the mail room and making myself a cup of tea. Why this is this case, I have absolutely no idea.
Let me explain (if you care enough to keep reading, I won't be offended if you don't! This is a rather mundane rant after all!):
Me and my fellow officemates are based on the top floor of our building. Most of the printers are based on the floor below us. To get there requires a hop, skip and a jump along the corridor, with the opening of many doors along the way, down the stairs, through more doors and into the mail room to collect our printing. Conveniently, or so it should be, next door to the mail room is the meeting room, home to the tea-making facilities.
After being sat at a desk for a few hours, as I'm sure many people will sympathise with, it's nice to have a walk to stretch your legs and it's definitely nice to have a cup of tea! Although I may wish to stretch my legs I don't want to walk up and down the stairs all day long so I often try to kill two birds with one stone. I will send things to the printer when I know I'm going to want a cup of tea so I can walk down, put the kettle on, collect the printing, make the tea and return to my office triumphant and looking semi-productive to passers-by as I stroll past with my pile of articles or chapter drafts.
99.9% of the time this plan fails. I return with tea but no printing or printing but no tea. It's not until I've walked back upstairs and got back to my desk when I realise my mistake, curse, and have to go all the way back down again. Granted, it's not far, but it's the principle of the matter which irritates me the most. I wouldn't be half as annoyed if it didn't happen almost EVERY single time! ARGH!!!
It doesn't matter which order I try and do things in either. If I put the kettle on and then go straight to the mail room while the kettle boils then I forget to go and make the tea. If I wait for the kettle to boil I head straight back upstairs once the tea is made. There's no winning. EVER.
I could always look on the bright side and think of it as a few extra calories burned but if I'd wanted to do that I wouldn't have tried to do the two things at the same time now would I?
Answers on a postcard as to how on earth I fix my main multi-tasking failure gratefully received!
Ciao for now.
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Participant Pains
The problem of conducting research in the human sciences is the unavoidable reliance on humans. Participants are crucial in psychology research and without them, all you have are a bunch of unsupported hypotheses and no data. But there are many, many joys and sorrows that are attached to testing human participants...well, actually...there are mainly just sorrows.
1. You actually have to recruit your participants.
If you're in a University department there is usually an official requirement for the poor First Year Psychology students to take part in studies in exchange for credits, without which they cannot pass into their second year. This sounds like a devious plan and a sure-fire way of getting them through the door, and on the whole it can work. However, there's not really a punishment for not getting their credits, they just have to submit an extra essay and 'ta-da', entrance into second year is theirs. Without an actual serious consequence, unless they consider essay writing the end of the world, then there isn't much incentive for them to willingly take part. Beyond jazzing up the description of your study to make it sound like the most interesting thing in the world, there's little more you can to get them to sign up.
Alternatively, a lucky few researchers will have a budget out of which they can pay participants for taking part. This quickly attracts interest. Psych studies are often seen as an easy way to make some quick cash, and they are paid reasonably well. But budgets are not bottomless pits and eventually the funds run out and you're back to relying on the goodwill of fellow man and there's not much of that going around.
2. Then you have totest them.
You've done the hard bit and recruited yourself some (almost) willing participants. The study is set up and ready to go. You think the data is in the bag but you've overlooked one little problem...
People can be a real pain, intentionally or otherwise. As you are likely to be testing psychology students who have, by now, slept through a lecture or two, they all think they are experts. They spend your entire study trying to work out what it is you're looking at and will either try their best to give the answers they think you want, or will maliciously mess everything up.Many of them can't follow simple instructions or just don't care enough to listen in the first place.
Occassionally, a participant may actually show interest in your study and have a good discussion with you afterwards, you might even get a good idea from them. On the other hand, some participants think they know absolutely everything and relish the opportunity to tell you exactly what they think you've done wrong, when in fact they've got no idea what they are talking about. These participants are difficult to get out the door and lead to much eye-rolling when they're not looking.
3. Ha! You're assuming that they will actually turn up!! FOOL!
It's all fine and well recruiting participants, but you never know whether they'll actually turn up in the first place. This is my major grumble at the moment, and has been for quite some time.
People who have voluntarily signed up to take part in your study and then fail to actually show up to take part i.e. no shows. No shows are the bain of my life right now. I've been testing for my current study since September and I've had at least 10-15 no show participants in that time. There's nothing worse than dragging yourself out of bed and into the lab for a 9am participant to find that they just couldn't be bothered getting up that day and didn't think it was necessary to let you know that they weren't coming. Seeing the pouring rain and knowing, deep down, that nobody is going to turn up that day but having to go in anyway, just in case.
It's just plain rude.They signed up to it in the first place - I didn't force them to agree to a 9am slot, they chose it. So not only am I constantly left waiting around for participants to show up when I have better things to be doing, but someone else could have signed up to the slot that would have actually turned up.
ARGH!!!
Participants - you can't do research without them, but you also can't do research if they don't turn up.
I long for the day when data collection is over. But, I'm sure once the analysis starts, it won't be long before I'm craving a no show to complain about.
Isn't research fun?! :D
1. You actually have to recruit your participants.
If you're in a University department there is usually an official requirement for the poor First Year Psychology students to take part in studies in exchange for credits, without which they cannot pass into their second year. This sounds like a devious plan and a sure-fire way of getting them through the door, and on the whole it can work. However, there's not really a punishment for not getting their credits, they just have to submit an extra essay and 'ta-da', entrance into second year is theirs. Without an actual serious consequence, unless they consider essay writing the end of the world, then there isn't much incentive for them to willingly take part. Beyond jazzing up the description of your study to make it sound like the most interesting thing in the world, there's little more you can to get them to sign up.
Alternatively, a lucky few researchers will have a budget out of which they can pay participants for taking part. This quickly attracts interest. Psych studies are often seen as an easy way to make some quick cash, and they are paid reasonably well. But budgets are not bottomless pits and eventually the funds run out and you're back to relying on the goodwill of fellow man and there's not much of that going around.
2. Then you have totest them.
You've done the hard bit and recruited yourself some (almost) willing participants. The study is set up and ready to go. You think the data is in the bag but you've overlooked one little problem...
People can be a real pain, intentionally or otherwise. As you are likely to be testing psychology students who have, by now, slept through a lecture or two, they all think they are experts. They spend your entire study trying to work out what it is you're looking at and will either try their best to give the answers they think you want, or will maliciously mess everything up.Many of them can't follow simple instructions or just don't care enough to listen in the first place.
Occassionally, a participant may actually show interest in your study and have a good discussion with you afterwards, you might even get a good idea from them. On the other hand, some participants think they know absolutely everything and relish the opportunity to tell you exactly what they think you've done wrong, when in fact they've got no idea what they are talking about. These participants are difficult to get out the door and lead to much eye-rolling when they're not looking.
3. Ha! You're assuming that they will actually turn up!! FOOL!
It's all fine and well recruiting participants, but you never know whether they'll actually turn up in the first place. This is my major grumble at the moment, and has been for quite some time.
People who have voluntarily signed up to take part in your study and then fail to actually show up to take part i.e. no shows. No shows are the bain of my life right now. I've been testing for my current study since September and I've had at least 10-15 no show participants in that time. There's nothing worse than dragging yourself out of bed and into the lab for a 9am participant to find that they just couldn't be bothered getting up that day and didn't think it was necessary to let you know that they weren't coming. Seeing the pouring rain and knowing, deep down, that nobody is going to turn up that day but having to go in anyway, just in case.
It's just plain rude.They signed up to it in the first place - I didn't force them to agree to a 9am slot, they chose it. So not only am I constantly left waiting around for participants to show up when I have better things to be doing, but someone else could have signed up to the slot that would have actually turned up.
ARGH!!!
Participants - you can't do research without them, but you also can't do research if they don't turn up.
I long for the day when data collection is over. But, I'm sure once the analysis starts, it won't be long before I'm craving a no show to complain about.
Isn't research fun?! :D
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
Is the PhD half empty or half full?
January 2012 disappeared in the blink of an eye and February is quickly heading the same way. As one over zealous office mate drops into conversation every now and then, we are nearly exactly half way through our PhD.
Over half way. That's closer to the finish line than the starting point. Eek.
Looking back to the beginning I can assure myself that I've achieved quite a lot in the past year and a half. Three studies, a couple of conferences, a painful amount of time on SPSS and the odd moment of actual writing is not to be scoffed at. I can almost see how it's all going to come together. One more study to conduct and then write it all up. Simple as. (If only...)
The optimistic side of me looks at my progress and happily announces that the PhD is definitely half full, maybe even more so. "There's a whole year and a half to go.", it proclaims in a Disney-esque positive tone. "Look at what you've done so far and you've got oodles of time to spare. Relax! Put the kettle on. Have a holiday - you deserve it!". For a split second I honestly believe that happy Disney voice in my head until the internal pessimist steps in to dash all my self-assuring dreams.. "Half full?", it shouts. "You're kidding yourself! Look at all those interviews that still need transcribing and coding before you can analyse your data. You haven't even started planning your next study and on top of all that you've not really written anything up properly. Publications? Forget about it - you definitely don't have time for that nonsense. Your PhD is definitely half empty."
And so deflates my happy, rose-tinted perspective on the current state of my PhD.
Being a second year PhD student is very bitter sweet. The constant enthusiasm and motivation you had right the beginning has been well and truly drained. You can't wait for it all to be over, but you're stressed about how little time is left. It's a no win situation.
I've decided to try and alternate between the two perspectives. Some days I can pat myself on the back and toast (cup of tea style) to the progress I've made to half filling my PhD. The rest of the time I think the half-empty camp has to dominate my thinking, giving me enough of The Fear* to keep me working when all other motivation has failed.
We'll see how this plan goes. I prefer the Disney voice's argument.
Ciao for now.
*The Fear is a well known visitor to many an Undergraduate who may be lacking in motivation for the coursework essay or exam revision. The Fear arrives just at the moment of realisation as to how little time is left and are thus forced, by The Fear, into working at break neck speed to get the job done. The Fear cannot be sustained over great periods of time because it is exhausting. If only The Fear's older brother could be located for PhD students around the world and maybe we'd all be a little more productive.
Over half way. That's closer to the finish line than the starting point. Eek.
Looking back to the beginning I can assure myself that I've achieved quite a lot in the past year and a half. Three studies, a couple of conferences, a painful amount of time on SPSS and the odd moment of actual writing is not to be scoffed at. I can almost see how it's all going to come together. One more study to conduct and then write it all up. Simple as. (If only...)
The optimistic side of me looks at my progress and happily announces that the PhD is definitely half full, maybe even more so. "There's a whole year and a half to go.", it proclaims in a Disney-esque positive tone. "Look at what you've done so far and you've got oodles of time to spare. Relax! Put the kettle on. Have a holiday - you deserve it!". For a split second I honestly believe that happy Disney voice in my head until the internal pessimist steps in to dash all my self-assuring dreams.. "Half full?", it shouts. "You're kidding yourself! Look at all those interviews that still need transcribing and coding before you can analyse your data. You haven't even started planning your next study and on top of all that you've not really written anything up properly. Publications? Forget about it - you definitely don't have time for that nonsense. Your PhD is definitely half empty."
And so deflates my happy, rose-tinted perspective on the current state of my PhD.
Being a second year PhD student is very bitter sweet. The constant enthusiasm and motivation you had right the beginning has been well and truly drained. You can't wait for it all to be over, but you're stressed about how little time is left. It's a no win situation.
I've decided to try and alternate between the two perspectives. Some days I can pat myself on the back and toast (cup of tea style) to the progress I've made to half filling my PhD. The rest of the time I think the half-empty camp has to dominate my thinking, giving me enough of The Fear* to keep me working when all other motivation has failed.
We'll see how this plan goes. I prefer the Disney voice's argument.
Ciao for now.
*The Fear is a well known visitor to many an Undergraduate who may be lacking in motivation for the coursework essay or exam revision. The Fear arrives just at the moment of realisation as to how little time is left and are thus forced, by The Fear, into working at break neck speed to get the job done. The Fear cannot be sustained over great periods of time because it is exhausting. If only The Fear's older brother could be located for PhD students around the world and maybe we'd all be a little more productive.
Thursday, 9 February 2012
Stealing My Academic Thunder
Academics are constantly working against the clock to conduct quality research, draw inciteful conclusions and then spread their findings to the world. This process is an incredibly lengthy one and requires a lot of resources: funding, patience, manpower, data, and the trickiest of all, time. If you're lucky to get all of these things then that's great, if not the question must remain unanswered until somebody can gather all the resources together and get the work done.
Few questions and ideas are novel and if you've thought about it, the chances are that someone, somewhere in the world, has thought of it too. This means that you are up against the clock to reach the publishing finish line before these hypothetical competitors do. The race is on but you have no idea who your fellow competitors are and what checkpoint they have reached when you set off on your research journey and if they beat you too it, your cutting edge research quickly becomes blunt.
I think there is a perfect way to describe the feeling of discovering that someone has published in your area that you are still working hard to complete. Even more so when you have found the same things, they've just got their first. They are 'stealing your thunder'; a phrase typically reserved for situations where you're supposed to be the centre of attention but someone upstages you, like your best friend announcing she's pregnant on your wedding day or someone announcing their engagement at your birthday party, but I feel it fits.
I'm sad to say this happened to me today. My academic thunder was well and truly stolen - not just by a fellow academic - but by the Government.
I've been conducting research on the practice of police officers in England and Wales, focusing on how they prepare victims and witnesses for giving evidence in court. Nothing like this had been done before, or should I say, nothing like this had been published before.
This morning I arrived at my desk to find an e-mail from my supervisor containing a press release and a copy of a report, jointly published on the 7th February 2012, by Her Majesty's Criminal Justice System Inspectorate and Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary looking at the experiences of victims and witnesse in the criminal justice system...one aspect of this report was the area I'd focussed on in my study.
Thunder. Gone. My conclusions already there in print with someone elses name on them.
Being two large Government organisations they have obviously had a lot of co-operation from all aspects of the criminal justice system, they've had money to fund the research and they've probably had a large team of people collecting and analysing the data. I have, me, my computer and myself (and my supervisor of course). What chance did I have? If only I'd known what they were up to and I could have saved myself the time and effort and worked on something else...
My supervisor assures me that it's not a massive problem, I now have a great resource to reference, but I still feel short changed.
Will I ever beat the research clock? Who knows. Let the race continue.
Few questions and ideas are novel and if you've thought about it, the chances are that someone, somewhere in the world, has thought of it too. This means that you are up against the clock to reach the publishing finish line before these hypothetical competitors do. The race is on but you have no idea who your fellow competitors are and what checkpoint they have reached when you set off on your research journey and if they beat you too it, your cutting edge research quickly becomes blunt.
I think there is a perfect way to describe the feeling of discovering that someone has published in your area that you are still working hard to complete. Even more so when you have found the same things, they've just got their first. They are 'stealing your thunder'; a phrase typically reserved for situations where you're supposed to be the centre of attention but someone upstages you, like your best friend announcing she's pregnant on your wedding day or someone announcing their engagement at your birthday party, but I feel it fits.
I'm sad to say this happened to me today. My academic thunder was well and truly stolen - not just by a fellow academic - but by the Government.
I've been conducting research on the practice of police officers in England and Wales, focusing on how they prepare victims and witnesses for giving evidence in court. Nothing like this had been done before, or should I say, nothing like this had been published before.
This morning I arrived at my desk to find an e-mail from my supervisor containing a press release and a copy of a report, jointly published on the 7th February 2012, by Her Majesty's Criminal Justice System Inspectorate and Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary looking at the experiences of victims and witnesse in the criminal justice system...one aspect of this report was the area I'd focussed on in my study.
Thunder. Gone. My conclusions already there in print with someone elses name on them.
Being two large Government organisations they have obviously had a lot of co-operation from all aspects of the criminal justice system, they've had money to fund the research and they've probably had a large team of people collecting and analysing the data. I have, me, my computer and myself (and my supervisor of course). What chance did I have? If only I'd known what they were up to and I could have saved myself the time and effort and worked on something else...
My supervisor assures me that it's not a massive problem, I now have a great resource to reference, but I still feel short changed.
Will I ever beat the research clock? Who knows. Let the race continue.
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Putting the D'oh in Dr...
Throughout my studies I've noticed that us PhD students have a habit of being incredibly inefficient. The usual culprit is doing something by hand that could be done 100x faster on some form of computer software. When we are shown the error of our ways, shown how much time and effort we are wasting, we all have that moment where you see the light and generally a 'D'oh' moment is born. There's nothing technically wrong with the way you may be doing something, in fact, a few decades ago it would have been your only choice and you would have been commended on your attention to detail and dedication to get those time-gobbling tasks done. Referencing is one of the main culprits, but for us psychologists, statistical analysis is an equally guilty party.
I had such a 'D'oh' moment today...
I do not claim to be an expert in statistics, or even proficient. I definitely don't have any expertise in the use of SPSS (a particularly unhelpful statistical software package that the psychology world keeps in business despite it's complete and utter lack of a logical user interface). It would be safe to say that my four years of Undergraduate stats training, a year of Masters level stats training and a year and a half of working at PhD level have left me with a 'workable' level of SPSS knowledge, but only if I have a large cup of tea in one hand and my trusty Andy Field SPSS book in the other. Ok...I admit it...I can do one specific statistical test on it and that's about it....
Today, I was trying to put a lot of categorical data into percentages (basically what percentage of people said one thing compared to another). I thought to myself, this seems like something SPSS would be able to do for me, but I didn't have the slightest idea of where to even look for that sort of command. Nobody was around to ask so I decided to calculated the percentages the old fashioned way - well, with my iPhone, not with pen and paper! Funnily enough this was taking a looooooong time so I decided to revisit old SPSS...
Unsurprisingly, SPSS is quite capable of calculating categorical percentages and in fact I had been but two button clicks away from having the information right in front of me.
D'OH!!!
These little moments could, by a positive thinking person, be considered to be a moment of learning to be celebrated but it's very difficult to be that positive person when you realise just how much time you've been wasted. These moments happen a little too frequently and are completely soul destroying. My only solace is the fact that they happen to everyone else in the office too!!
Ciao for now!
I had such a 'D'oh' moment today...
I do not claim to be an expert in statistics, or even proficient. I definitely don't have any expertise in the use of SPSS (a particularly unhelpful statistical software package that the psychology world keeps in business despite it's complete and utter lack of a logical user interface). It would be safe to say that my four years of Undergraduate stats training, a year of Masters level stats training and a year and a half of working at PhD level have left me with a 'workable' level of SPSS knowledge, but only if I have a large cup of tea in one hand and my trusty Andy Field SPSS book in the other. Ok...I admit it...I can do one specific statistical test on it and that's about it....
Today, I was trying to put a lot of categorical data into percentages (basically what percentage of people said one thing compared to another). I thought to myself, this seems like something SPSS would be able to do for me, but I didn't have the slightest idea of where to even look for that sort of command. Nobody was around to ask so I decided to calculated the percentages the old fashioned way - well, with my iPhone, not with pen and paper! Funnily enough this was taking a looooooong time so I decided to revisit old SPSS...
Unsurprisingly, SPSS is quite capable of calculating categorical percentages and in fact I had been but two button clicks away from having the information right in front of me.
D'OH!!!
These little moments could, by a positive thinking person, be considered to be a moment of learning to be celebrated but it's very difficult to be that positive person when you realise just how much time you've been wasted. These moments happen a little too frequently and are completely soul destroying. My only solace is the fact that they happen to everyone else in the office too!!
Ciao for now!
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Race to the Finish Line
I consider my PhD to be a professional/academic challenge. A HUGE ONE! I don't think anyone could really disagree with that! It is mentally challenging more than anything else as a good 95% of my day involves being sat at a desk, staring at a computer screen. Not only is this not doing my eyesight any good, but it's doing nothing to improve my health.
Before Christmas I also added a personal challenge to my to-do list. I've never really been a big fan of exercise but I decided that this needed to change and I was going to try the Couch to 5K Challenge. The last exercise I did was probably a bit of light paced swimming, several years ago, and maybe a few aerobic classes in my freshers year of undergraduate so it was safe to say that I didn't have appropriate clothing. Running for the bus was usually enough to put me out of action!
After a sympathetic friend took me in hand to the alien world of sports clothes shopping I downloaded the Get Running app for my phone and got going. Three runs a week with a mixture of running and walking, the runs getting longer week by week. I'm in week 6 of 9 now and I'm completely amazed at just how much I enjoy my morning runs! I'm lucky enough to live a 5 minute walk away from Windsor Great Park and so I have beautiful scenery to look at as I huff and puff my way through the morning training session. It's time to myself to just focus on something non-PhD related and to let my mind wander and it's surprisingly liberating. No emails to check, no typing to be done. Just enjoying the view.
I've always been sceptical of fitness fanatics who sing praises of exercise and just how much more energy it gives you but I would have to say I've been converted around to their way of thinking. It's truly an addictive feeling and by following a training schedule I get to have a small sense of achievement at least three times a week when I finish a session. Little goals elsewhere in life are crucial when the ultimate PhD finish line is such a distant goal at the moment.
Knowing myself, I need some incentive to keep going with the running once I reach the end of this training programme in a few weeks time. So...to make sure I keep going I've signed up for a Race for Life 5K Challenge in July and the ShockAbsorber's WomensOnly 10K Challenge in October. Instant fear as soon as my registration e-mails arrived but again, they are further chances to overcome some sort of challenge and get that sense of achievement at the end of it. If I can overcome these challenges and make it across the finish line, then surely the race to thesis completion is achievable too?! (she tells herself!).
I'm hoping to raise some money to support the work done at Cancer Research - this wasn't intended as a big sell but you've got to take fundraising opportunities where you can find them! If anyone would like to sponsor me I would greatly appreciate it and you can do so by clicking on the logo below.
Wish me luck!!!
Before Christmas I also added a personal challenge to my to-do list. I've never really been a big fan of exercise but I decided that this needed to change and I was going to try the Couch to 5K Challenge. The last exercise I did was probably a bit of light paced swimming, several years ago, and maybe a few aerobic classes in my freshers year of undergraduate so it was safe to say that I didn't have appropriate clothing. Running for the bus was usually enough to put me out of action!
After a sympathetic friend took me in hand to the alien world of sports clothes shopping I downloaded the Get Running app for my phone and got going. Three runs a week with a mixture of running and walking, the runs getting longer week by week. I'm in week 6 of 9 now and I'm completely amazed at just how much I enjoy my morning runs! I'm lucky enough to live a 5 minute walk away from Windsor Great Park and so I have beautiful scenery to look at as I huff and puff my way through the morning training session. It's time to myself to just focus on something non-PhD related and to let my mind wander and it's surprisingly liberating. No emails to check, no typing to be done. Just enjoying the view.
I've always been sceptical of fitness fanatics who sing praises of exercise and just how much more energy it gives you but I would have to say I've been converted around to their way of thinking. It's truly an addictive feeling and by following a training schedule I get to have a small sense of achievement at least three times a week when I finish a session. Little goals elsewhere in life are crucial when the ultimate PhD finish line is such a distant goal at the moment.
Knowing myself, I need some incentive to keep going with the running once I reach the end of this training programme in a few weeks time. So...to make sure I keep going I've signed up for a Race for Life 5K Challenge in July and the ShockAbsorber's WomensOnly 10K Challenge in October. Instant fear as soon as my registration e-mails arrived but again, they are further chances to overcome some sort of challenge and get that sense of achievement at the end of it. If I can overcome these challenges and make it across the finish line, then surely the race to thesis completion is achievable too?! (she tells herself!).
I'm hoping to raise some money to support the work done at Cancer Research - this wasn't intended as a big sell but you've got to take fundraising opportunities where you can find them! If anyone would like to sponsor me I would greatly appreciate it and you can do so by clicking on the logo below.
Wish me luck!!!
Monday, 23 January 2012
How to get a gay ol' PhD...
For three hours a week, I work in the Careers Service. I provide feedback on CVs and application advise to students in one-to-one sessions. Fun. I'm telling you this because sometimes there isn't anyone booked in for a session and I'm left to browse the resources of the Careers Service....
Last time I did this I stumbled upon a book titled: How to get a PhD. WIN! I thought to myself. I'm being paid to find out how to get that Dr. before my very own Ainsworth! I then stumbled across the following chapter:
How to survive in a predominantly British, White, Male, Full-Time, Heterosexual, Academic Environment.
This sounds like something worth at least a scan through so I settled down in my student free moment to have a read ... really wish I hadn't. I photocopied one particular section because I was baffled by what I read...have a see what you think for yourselves:
"Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans-gender Students
Increasingly, gay and lesbian people wish to be frank with their friends and colleagues but this honesty opens up greater possibilities for discrimination. Gay or lesbian students who come out may find that their supervisors are nonplussed or antagonistic and this will complicate the relationship. Alternatively, if they remain silent but are subsequently outed they can become targets for harassment. They thus have a risky decision to make.
One way to avoid these problems is to ensure that you keep your emotional life and your professional life apart as far as possible, especially so far as members of academic staff are concerned. You might also try to discover some others in a similar situation for mutual support, and, if necessary, get together to influence your university to take these issues seriously. Don't forget that the student union is there to help all students and that includes you."
What the chuff were they thinking?????
So this book was first published in 1987 (and like any good academic I will provide the reference at the end of my rant!) but the edition that I was reading was a 2010 5th Edition....didn't anyone, anywhere along the publication line think that this was on the offensive side of things and in fact should be updated or, in fact, removed altogether? Seriously?!
I'll stop my little rant there, as my blood starts to boil.
Ciao for now :)
*horrific reference as promised: How to get a PhD: a handbook for students and their supervisors. Estelle Phillips & Derik Pugh, Open University Press
Last time I did this I stumbled upon a book titled: How to get a PhD. WIN! I thought to myself. I'm being paid to find out how to get that Dr. before my very own Ainsworth! I then stumbled across the following chapter:
How to survive in a predominantly British, White, Male, Full-Time, Heterosexual, Academic Environment.
This sounds like something worth at least a scan through so I settled down in my student free moment to have a read ... really wish I hadn't. I photocopied one particular section because I was baffled by what I read...have a see what you think for yourselves:
"Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans-gender Students
Increasingly, gay and lesbian people wish to be frank with their friends and colleagues but this honesty opens up greater possibilities for discrimination. Gay or lesbian students who come out may find that their supervisors are nonplussed or antagonistic and this will complicate the relationship. Alternatively, if they remain silent but are subsequently outed they can become targets for harassment. They thus have a risky decision to make.
One way to avoid these problems is to ensure that you keep your emotional life and your professional life apart as far as possible, especially so far as members of academic staff are concerned. You might also try to discover some others in a similar situation for mutual support, and, if necessary, get together to influence your university to take these issues seriously. Don't forget that the student union is there to help all students and that includes you."
What the chuff were they thinking?????
So this book was first published in 1987 (and like any good academic I will provide the reference at the end of my rant!) but the edition that I was reading was a 2010 5th Edition....didn't anyone, anywhere along the publication line think that this was on the offensive side of things and in fact should be updated or, in fact, removed altogether? Seriously?!
I'll stop my little rant there, as my blood starts to boil.
Ciao for now :)
*horrific reference as promised: How to get a PhD: a handbook for students and their supervisors. Estelle Phillips & Derik Pugh, Open University Press
Monday, 16 January 2012
Merry Mondays
Yet another Monday has turned up in the diary, interupting those relaxing couple of days off I was having and dragging me back into the office to get on with the thesis. Like many others, I cursed my alarm this morning and begrudgingly got out of bed and ready for the office. But are Mondays really all that bad?
I'd have to say no.
Without the structure of a working week, which happens to kick off with Monday, there would be no real sense of when I should really be doing some work. I wouldn't have that guilty feeling that I should be at my desk, and there would be one more hurdle for my motivation to overcome. Monday's are also a nice reminder that I'm not the only one working and crucially, there are times in my week when it's ok to not be working. I can close the documents, turn off the computer, and walk away from the desk and think about something else altogether during out of office hours and when the working week is over. Just, nobody tell my supervisor!!
As the months tick by, the concept of a working-week will become alien to me through sheer necessity and in its place will be an ugly, 24/7, caffeine fuelled marathon to the submission deadline. This is going to be awful and I'm scared of it already.
But until then, I think it's nice to feel the same dread towards a Monday morning like the rest of the world, a sense of normality. Besides, where would that Friday Feeling be without a Moody Monday to balance it out?
Ciao for now!
I'd have to say no.
Without the structure of a working week, which happens to kick off with Monday, there would be no real sense of when I should really be doing some work. I wouldn't have that guilty feeling that I should be at my desk, and there would be one more hurdle for my motivation to overcome. Monday's are also a nice reminder that I'm not the only one working and crucially, there are times in my week when it's ok to not be working. I can close the documents, turn off the computer, and walk away from the desk and think about something else altogether during out of office hours and when the working week is over. Just, nobody tell my supervisor!!
As the months tick by, the concept of a working-week will become alien to me through sheer necessity and in its place will be an ugly, 24/7, caffeine fuelled marathon to the submission deadline. This is going to be awful and I'm scared of it already.
But until then, I think it's nice to feel the same dread towards a Monday morning like the rest of the world, a sense of normality. Besides, where would that Friday Feeling be without a Moody Monday to balance it out?
Ciao for now!
Friday, 13 January 2012
PhD: Procrastination Helps Degree...Honest!
It's just typical. No-one ever pops into the office when I'm head down in a journal article or wading my way through a sticky statistical analysis or trying to write a chapter.
The only time someone does appear unannounced is during those precious few minutes when I've allowed myself to catch up on the latest Facebook posts or I'm watching the latest, hilarious, You Tube clip (usually sent to me by a fellow PhD!).
The more you protest that you're just taking a short break, the less they believe you and they leave the office with the firm belief that you're a slacker who's never going to complete their thesis on time.
Typical.
In my defence, I find a quick browse of Facebook is crucial to keeping me vaguely productive throughout the day when I have no immediate deadline on the horizon. At the moment, any deadline is set by me and I can choose to move it/ignore it/laugh at it. Granted, I have a lot of work to do, and shoud really crack on with it, but those few minutes distraction allow me a moment to relax, after which I can refocus and start another burst of activity. It's necessary. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or not trying to write a thesis.
So, yes, if you decide to pop by my office I am probably going to be caught minimising Facebook with a guilty look on my face. Judge me all you wish but it's all part of the process of Becoming Dr Ainsworth!
Ciao for now!
The only time someone does appear unannounced is during those precious few minutes when I've allowed myself to catch up on the latest Facebook posts or I'm watching the latest, hilarious, You Tube clip (usually sent to me by a fellow PhD!).
The more you protest that you're just taking a short break, the less they believe you and they leave the office with the firm belief that you're a slacker who's never going to complete their thesis on time.
Typical.
In my defence, I find a quick browse of Facebook is crucial to keeping me vaguely productive throughout the day when I have no immediate deadline on the horizon. At the moment, any deadline is set by me and I can choose to move it/ignore it/laugh at it. Granted, I have a lot of work to do, and shoud really crack on with it, but those few minutes distraction allow me a moment to relax, after which I can refocus and start another burst of activity. It's necessary. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or not trying to write a thesis.
So, yes, if you decide to pop by my office I am probably going to be caught minimising Facebook with a guilty look on my face. Judge me all you wish but it's all part of the process of Becoming Dr Ainsworth!
Ciao for now!
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Walking the Line Between Being Inspired, Demoralised and Bored
Postgraduate training courses can be simply categorised on the basis of four either/or questions. The answers to these questions allow any PhD student to determine A) whether a particular course is going to be of any use or just a collassal waste of time, and B) What mood you will arrive back at your desk in when it's over.
The upshot of "those" kinds of training course? You feel positively chipper about your career prospects, everything they said was so painfully obvious that you feel assured that you're ready for life in the real world. You can rush back to your desk or the lab, get on with your thesis and forget about it for a few more years. Hooray!!! You haven't learnt anything but you feel great about it!!!
Then we come to the flip side of the training coin.... If a course is A) provided by the department, B) specific and/or technical, C) focussed on progressing your academic career, and, D) voluntary then you're in for a whole different experience. It's 'in-house' so you're likely to know everyone, there'll be some jokes, a few laughs, someone might even bring cake! A friendly face from the lecturing staff will impart great wisdom to you and you'll lap up every word, making notes and reflecting on what they're saying. The course will end, you'll pause for a moment, thinking to yourself what a really valuable use of your time that was and then....
BAM!
I had one of these moments today. An Introduction to Academic Writing. Completely Voluntary. In the department. Really detailed, really useful advice. I was just pondering how much I'd gotten from those 2 hours and then BAM! I started to realise that the really useful system she talked about was far superior to what I've been doing. I realised just how much work I'd been making for myself and now how much work was going to be required to fix the mess I'd made of my chapters. I haven't even started an academic paper yet and you're telling me I need to publish before my viva....BAM BAM BAM BAM one after the other. Then you realise your brain is oozing our your ears and you don't want to be back at your desk, but in a dark room, with a duvet, a jar of nutella and a spoon...
Forewarned is forearmed. The compulsory University level courses are unavoidable, but go prepared with a good amount of doodle material or a few academic papers to read on the sly. If you're brave enough to sign up to a voluntary 'in-house' course....have a large bar of chocolate ready and waiting on your desk when you get back!
Ciao for now!
- Is the course provided at University level or by your own Department?
- Is the course topic referring to general life skills or specific/technical skills?
- Is the course trying to make you employable anywhere or improve your chance of an academic career?
- Is the course compulsory or voluntary?
The upshot of "those" kinds of training course? You feel positively chipper about your career prospects, everything they said was so painfully obvious that you feel assured that you're ready for life in the real world. You can rush back to your desk or the lab, get on with your thesis and forget about it for a few more years. Hooray!!! You haven't learnt anything but you feel great about it!!!
Then we come to the flip side of the training coin.... If a course is A) provided by the department, B) specific and/or technical, C) focussed on progressing your academic career, and, D) voluntary then you're in for a whole different experience. It's 'in-house' so you're likely to know everyone, there'll be some jokes, a few laughs, someone might even bring cake! A friendly face from the lecturing staff will impart great wisdom to you and you'll lap up every word, making notes and reflecting on what they're saying. The course will end, you'll pause for a moment, thinking to yourself what a really valuable use of your time that was and then....
BAM!
I had one of these moments today. An Introduction to Academic Writing. Completely Voluntary. In the department. Really detailed, really useful advice. I was just pondering how much I'd gotten from those 2 hours and then BAM! I started to realise that the really useful system she talked about was far superior to what I've been doing. I realised just how much work I'd been making for myself and now how much work was going to be required to fix the mess I'd made of my chapters. I haven't even started an academic paper yet and you're telling me I need to publish before my viva....BAM BAM BAM BAM one after the other. Then you realise your brain is oozing our your ears and you don't want to be back at your desk, but in a dark room, with a duvet, a jar of nutella and a spoon...
Forewarned is forearmed. The compulsory University level courses are unavoidable, but go prepared with a good amount of doodle material or a few academic papers to read on the sly. If you're brave enough to sign up to a voluntary 'in-house' course....have a large bar of chocolate ready and waiting on your desk when you get back!
Ciao for now!
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Thesis Antidote
Hello World!
It crossed my mind this morning that having a 100,000 word book and a few academic papers to churn out before that rapidly approaching final deadline just might not be enough...and hey presto - a blog was born! I thought that a cheeky wee blog on the side might be a nice cathartic way to rant about the joys and sorrows of being a PhD student, giving my endlessly supportive friends and family time off for good behaviour.
Those close to me have shouldered the burden of my enthusiasm/disappointment/stress/ambivelance (delete as appropriate several times a day) for the fifteen months since I signed my soul away, committing myself to produce a doctoral thesis in three short years! Yikes!
As I make a good start into my second year (yep...reaching the halfway mark now) I find it hard to describe what kind of rollercoaster ride this experience is. From the highs of giving your first international conference presentation, to the lows of no-show participants, a lack of a significant result, hours spent transcribing and coding and any number of obstacles and frustrations that set you back along the way.
Why do I do it, you may ask? Well...as it says on the tin...it's all about Becoming Dr Ainsworth (and a few other more fulfilling and important reasons along the way!).
I won't bore you with the details of what I'm actually studying - maybe another post - but for now I'd just like to say thank you for reading (even if I'm the only one that reads this!)
Ciao for now!
It crossed my mind this morning that having a 100,000 word book and a few academic papers to churn out before that rapidly approaching final deadline just might not be enough...and hey presto - a blog was born! I thought that a cheeky wee blog on the side might be a nice cathartic way to rant about the joys and sorrows of being a PhD student, giving my endlessly supportive friends and family time off for good behaviour.
Those close to me have shouldered the burden of my enthusiasm/disappointment/stress/ambivelance (delete as appropriate several times a day) for the fifteen months since I signed my soul away, committing myself to produce a doctoral thesis in three short years! Yikes!
As I make a good start into my second year (yep...reaching the halfway mark now) I find it hard to describe what kind of rollercoaster ride this experience is. From the highs of giving your first international conference presentation, to the lows of no-show participants, a lack of a significant result, hours spent transcribing and coding and any number of obstacles and frustrations that set you back along the way.
Why do I do it, you may ask? Well...as it says on the tin...it's all about Becoming Dr Ainsworth (and a few other more fulfilling and important reasons along the way!).
I won't bore you with the details of what I'm actually studying - maybe another post - but for now I'd just like to say thank you for reading (even if I'm the only one that reads this!)
Ciao for now!
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